In my life, I’ve created my destiny within my career, friendships, and community. With friends, I’ve really embraced the fact that they’re all unique pieces a pie. Some will be lifetime friends that are next to family, some are social friends, some acquaintances. I’ve learned to appreciate the various types and unique forms of value each friend brings, and as well as a system of how much and what kind of energy I invest to whom. I am blessed with the best friends ever, but that inner circle is sacred and thoughtfully selective.
We’ve all been there — feeling victimized by a friend, or a lover who has treated us poorly or unfairly. It’s an easy and common tendency to blame yourself while seeking out particular people who will reaffirm that pain body within that encourages a “woe is me” mentality.
You allow people to treat you the way they do. Your energy, confidence, and attitude are the currency that others will transact with. I know many women who have settled for less, and simply “accepted” cards dealt because of insecurities deep inside, they don’t believe they deserve more. I’m sure you know of someone who seems to have it all together in their life, but when it come to relationships, they just can’t seem to shake the habit of dating douche bags and douchettes. however there is a way to change all that, and it all starts with loving yourself and knowing your worth.
Loving Yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Period.
There is nothing more value, nothing more important, nothing more worthy of your time, your energy, your passion than learning to love yourself. It will change – literally – the fabric of your life.
For clarity, loving yourself is more than taking a bath or giving yourself a gift. Those are pieces of the puzzle but those things are not enough.
It took me years of being hungry for love, even desperate for it at times, heart aches, heart trampled, picking up that phone when every cell in your body knows it’s the unhealthy thing to do, obsessing, infatuating, idealizing, you name it, for me to finally wake up and realize that my most important relationship is the one with myself.
I’ve learned to embrace self-love. And while I’ll always be a perpetual student in this journey, I’ve made the decision to apply my successful method in dealing with friendships and business to how I do my relationships. I’ve stopped apologizing for who I am and have learned that I am “perfect” the way I am, right now, right here. I will constantly be growing, evolving and working on bad habits, but those flaws, those imperfections are part of the beauty that makes me, me!!
I can now easily recognize people who are drawn to me only for the best of me, and as Marilyn Monroe best put it, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
If I could talk to my younger self –that girl desperate for love and often blinded by ideas, fabrications, and untruths in order to try and capture it, I’d tell her: “love will come to you, when you learn to love yourself, first and foremost”.
I don’t know what your life has held. I don’t know who has walked into or out of the door of your heart. I don’t know if you’ve had lots of umbrellas or have shivered in the damp for far too long. I don’t know what you were told about your worth or your beauty or your place in this world.
But I know this: you are a person worth pursuing.
So do not let anyone in your life ever make you feel as if you are not worth the effort of loving. Promise me you will not believe that lie. Because if God himself has said it is so then no human can trump that truth. He has declared you are valuable, cherished and nothing can keep him from you… Oh love
I want you to begin by writing yourself a love note. (You will get to a love letter later Start with a sentence or two.
Acknowledge something you do well or give yourself credit for some effort you have made. Start somewhere…
Today I tell you this:
you don’t have to earn love any more than you have to earn the right to breathe. You have a right to breathe because you exist. You have a right to be loved because you exist. That is all you need to know. You are worthy of your own love. Don’t allow your parents or society’s negative opinions or popular prejudices make you think that you are not good enough. The reality of your being is that you are lovable. Accept this and know this. When you really do, you will find that people treat you as a lovable person.
We ARE worth loving.
You ARE worth Loving