“A friend is a single soul in two bodies.”
Someone once said, “A friend is a person who is willing to take me the way I am.” Accepting this as one definition of the word, quickly suggest that we are something less than a real friend if we leave a person the same way we find him or her. There seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of some people today as to what it means to be a friend. Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better welfare. Certainly, the word friend is misused if it is identified with a person who contributes to our delinquency, misery, and heartaches. When we make a man feel he is wanted, his whole attitude changes. Our friendship will be recognizable if our actions and attitudes result in improvement and independence.
You can have a lot of acquaintances, but only a few people will become your best friends. These are kindred spirits, whose souls are “knit together.” Friendships like this will endure, even though the intensity of the friendship will ebb and flow over time.
Why Good Friends Are So Important
A lot of research has been done looking into the benefits of friendship, and researchers have found that the better quality relationships you have; the more likely you are to be happy as friends are really important to your happiness. A friend is someone you can hang out with, have fun with and depend on. Here is a list to help you Figure out the signs of a good friend, and learn tips for how to be there for your friend when they need itAs it can be hard to pinpoint exactly what makes a good friend.
Signs Of A Good Friend
Friends will come and go in your life, but more important than that is how long a friendship lasts and if that good friend will love you for who you are. The way you can tell the sign of a good friend is by looking at the actions they take –big and small – that show they care. Few examples are:
- someone who will support you no matter what
- someone you can trust and who won’t judge you
- someone who won’t put you down or deliberately hurt your feelings
- someone who is kind and has respect for you
- someone who will love you because they choose to, not because they feel like they should
- someone whose company you enjoy
- showing loyalty
- being trustworthy and willing to tell you the truth, even when it’s hard
Friendship & Social Media
“On Facebook, “the term ‘friend’ is a technical term, really a ‘contact.’ You have the right to send your friends a message, but the use is hardly relational. Of course, a friend is more suggestive and appealing than a contact. Some people boast about the number of ‘friends’ they have, even if they don’t have a personal relationship with them.”
In North America. we tend to confuse friends and acquaintances. “We find it cold to say ‘acquaintance’ or ‘colleague’ or even ‘comrade,’ which we associate with communism. People in other parts of the world don’t hesitate to differentiate those they merely know and those they’d count as true friends.”
One of the dangers in this kind of friendship is co-dependency. The sheer delight of having such a friend can also create weighty expectations in the relationship. A good question for friends to ask regularly is, “Are we truly seeking the other person’s highest good?”
Leave it to Oscar Wilde to lay out an important truth with such wry humor. A true friend is one who helps you see the truth, even if it hurts. This doesn’t mean we can go around stabbing our friends with hurtful words. Rather, it means being up front with friends about important issues, raising gentle questions with tact and love, never gossiping or putting them down to others behind their backs.
“I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the most solid thing we know.” Real friendships don’t just happen, and they aren’t maintenance free.
How To Be A Good Friend
It takes courage to be a real friend. Some of us endanger the valued classification of a friend because of our unwillingness to be one under all circumstances. Fear can deprive us of friendship. Some of us identify our closest friends as those with the courage to remain and share themselves with us under all circumstances. A friend is a person who will suggest and render the best for us regardless of the immediate consequences.
If you want to do all or many of the things listed above for someone you care about, you’re already a good friend. It’s also common, though, to not know exactly what to do or say to be there for someone. One practical thing you can do to be there for a friend include:
Listen. Listening is so important not to underestimate, but it can be hard to do. The best way to listen is to try and understand the situation from your friends’ point of view. If you aim to do this, you’ll naturally find yourself beginning to ask the right sort of questions and they will appreciate having someone who really cares about how they feel and what they’re going through. You don’t have to have all the answers, and you shouldn’t assume your friend wants advice – they might just want to talk so that they can work out what they’re going to do themselves. Ask them what they need. If you’re worried about someone and you want to be there for them, just ask.