What do you do if you think your partner is unsupportive? It may indicate trouble. So here are few area’s to look at:
Healthy relationships are based on trust, mutual respect, and security. Each person must feel they are valued and loved unconditionally, accepted for who they are, and safe to expose their vulnerabilities and flaws. This is the ideal foundation for a good relationship, but of course all of us fall short of this ideal from time to time.
I can remember getting what for me was my first big break in my career. I squealed with delight, my heart pounded, my mouth went dry ~ I had worked so hard and now it seemed things were about to unfold. I was ecstatic.
After I enthusiastically accepted the invitation, naturally I couldn’t wait to tell the three people closest to me. The funny thing was, the one person I thought would be the happiest for me was anything but upset by her confusing affect, I pressed the matter. “Aren’t you happy for me? This is what I have worked so hard for, to get the message out there, but you seem upset?” she looked at me and unexpectedly said, “Now what, you’re going to start travelling right? I don’t want to be with someone who …” she didn’t finish the sentence. She didn’t have to, as it turned out; her attitude towards me and my being successful was a major culprit in ending our relationship a few painful years and many missed opportunities later. Opportunities that I passed up, afraid she would leave me if I didn’t.
It would take me years to identify and learn the importance of surrounding myself with supportive people. The mutual flow of respect and support is essential to all healthy, sustainable relationships. Whether friends or lovers, we all want to believe those closest to us want for us to thrive, to fulfill our dreams and to achieve inner and outer success. Yet when this isn’t our experience, we might want to look more closely at the nature of these relationships.
Signs of un-supportive relationships:
A supportive partner can truly impact the success of a person and an unsupportive one will help bring insecurities and fears to the surface, thus affecting the confidence levels that help you to step in a creative space.
1. Jealousy~ you notice people who say they love or care about you are giving you mixed messages about your good fortune or advancement toward your goals.
2. Hiding our success ~ you hide or minimize significant progress towards your heart’s desires, not to arouse negative response, rejection or criticism.
3. Making ourselves small ~ you notice you place others’ needs or wants above your own, or hold back your wants and desires because you are afraid to alienate friends or lovers.
4. Undermining~ someone you care about purposely says or does something to throw you off track ; or worse, bad-mouths you behind your back.
5. Competitiveness~ When your with them, everything feels like a competition. Toxic and tedious; every dinner, drinks and weekend away with them leaves you feeling exhausted from trying to keep up with ,what seems to have established itself as part of your friendship.
6. Devils advocate~ This person is always telling you why you can’t do something or why it won’t work, even when you don’t ask and they’re not an authority on the subject. “No one’s ever done that before.” “You can’t do that!” or “Where are you going to get the money to do that?” “She’ll never go out with you!” etc.
Final thought- Relationships are not always good, If you suspect someone you care about or love is holding you back, consider this: Great relationships begin within! If an individual makes you feel bad about yourself, doesn’t share your interests, values or lifestyles or someone they don’t get on with, then that relationship is not healthy and needs to be finished. People change over time and go in different directions so someone you were close to at one time may become distant. If someone is no longer good for the individual then it is okay to let them go. An individual may feel a sense of loyalty and want to keep them in their life, such as family, this is okay too, however, an individual may not be able to count on their support if they cannot give it.
*Therefore surround yourself with supportive people! This may take some work, yet you will have a group of people in your life committed to you attracting and creating what you want.