I know that it’s a tad unconventional for someone to thank their ex. However, if you really think about, there are a ton of things you should be thanking your ex for. Whether you split amicably or it ended like a nightmare, there is a lot to be thankful for regardless. So if you’re reading this and calling me insane claiming that your ex is an asshole/bitch and you’d rather run them over with a bike than thank them for anything, listen up. Life is made up of experiences, right? Had you not experienced love and loss with your ex, you likely wouldn’t be who you are today.
Thank Them for teaching you about love
A broken heart hurts for long, and everyone who has ever been in that state knows it. The arguments, the pleading that make you feel pathetic, the mode in which you keep to yourself, and then the zone where you pretend that you don’t care about anything at all. We face it all. We fight it out. No matter how you’re relationship ended, it taught you something. It taught you the kind of love you want in your life. Clearly that relationship didn’t work out because it wasn’t right, but thanks to it and your ex, you know exactly how you want to be loved. On top of that, you know the kind of person you want to be in a relationship.
The relationship ending doesn’t really matter. The point here is that you learned what your deal breakers are moving forward. You know how you want to be treated, what you need emotionally, what you need physically, and how you want to be a couple with the next person you date.
Thank them for the good times
Even if it didn’t end well, there were certainly good times while you were together and it was fun, wasn’t it?The private jokes, the stolen kisses, the “can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other” phase. The calm before the storm is often breathtakingly serene. The way you both shared things was absolutely adorable. From music to friends and those perfect silences which were privy to just the two of you. That person taught you that you could share intricate facets of your life with someone else,and that meant alot! You should be thankful for those times even if you hate your ex now. That was time that you spent together, experienced new things together, had adventures together, and really fell in love with one another. Just because the relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean that the time you spent together wasn’t precious.
Thank them for teaching you about yourself
Gasp. Yes, they taught you things about yourself to. As much as you might not want to admit it, you’re not perfect and looking back on your relationship you’ll realize where you went wrong. Though you hate thinking about how you fucked up, there’s a good chance you did. So, you’re ex taught you how to objectively look at yourself and realize how you need to improve.
During the relationship this likely caused a ton of tension and fighting, but when you really look at yourself you’re aware of what your shortcomings are. Your ex taught you how to be better in your next relationship. They likely taught you how to be more open, more aware, and how to communicate should a problem arise in your next relationship.
Thank them for love
Won’t you agree that there were moments when, without a doubt, he/she made you the happiest you have ever been. There were times when just a quick glance or a shared song would send you into a world of butterfly kisses. The small gestures that made you feel special that were done just to impress you, have shaped your present self a lot. Everyone needs to learn that they are capable of being happy without having to feel sorry about it. And enabling you with that capability, is exactly why you need to thank him/her for.
Thank them for loss affection
The downhill from the peak of having it all in a relationship is never nice. Consistently heavy heart, missing compliments, absent touches, and separate sides of the bed sure were the warning signs. They affected you more than hard words sometimes, but they also taught you that you need affection at times and that is absolutely okay. It feels human to need physical reassurance and verbal affirmation from time to time. And the withdrawn affection made you realize who you were.
Thank them for lost friends
You got so close to that special ‘someone’ that you sailed away from many others in the process. When your ex left you, you were broken and helpless with very few friends left by your side. That made you realize how foolish you were to let them go. And having been in that dire stage once, you would never let the same thing happen to you again. On the contrary, you will make more friends, better friends and cherish them like precious gems.
Thank them for showing you your limits
How badly you tried to make it work, No matter how much you tried to make it work, you couldn’t do it. spending every last shred of your energy in the relationship. Raising your patience, drinking your temper, resisting the urge to break free and run away, but you stayed there and faced the situation. And when everything failed, you parted. So, thank your ex for showing you what you’re capable of. Thank them for giving you more patience, thank them for making you stronger. Thank them for making you try. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.
Thank them for ingorance
What do you need to thank your ex the most for? Those ignored phone call, the texts that were never replied to, the emotions that were given no heed and the stage-right exit from your life. Those were the most humane actions of the entire relationship. You must have hated your ex for it, but you were the weaker one and someone had to make the call. You were saved from yourself. And you learned that you could live in a world where your ex no longer existed, and flourish happily with that.
Thank her/him for leaving
You may have been a mess at times, an easy target for anyone seeking a one-night-stand, an embodiment of bad decisions and piss-poor life choices, but it was YOU. Every dark, twisted, ugly facet of you. And in breaking down, you were taught how to build yourself back up. You were taught that no matter what you think, you only get what you deserve in life, not more – not less. And most of all you learned, that you don’t ‘need’ someone in your life to make you feel special. You saw your worst, you got up to your best and that is enough to make you feel special.
Not all relationships are destined to last forever, but if we’re fortunate, we walk away with a greater perspective of what we want and don’t want in future partners. Learning tough life lessons from a bad relationship often brings meaning to the suffering.
Old flames will teach us who we are and how we manage relationships. So instead of hating on your exes, maybe you should thank them!